ResCorp Press: Tissue Paper

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Resolve
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ResCorp Press: Tissue Paper

Post by Resolve »

Bathroom Tissue and I

Who gives a damn about it?

It's the same thing that we use after downloading. The same thing that we yearn for when the place down under gets too greasy. In instances like this, it is the most sought-after commodity --- you can just forget about rice, gasoline and Brad Pitt.

Imagine sitting on the throne is some public restroom after a frantic search. You feel so refreshed after expelling the evil that was within, then you find out that there's no dipper or tap water in sight, that you dug into the innermost recesses of your backpack and saw nothing but a worn-out 7-eleven Big Gulp receipt to improvise with. Despicable.

Then suddenly, as you dig even deeper into the dump that is called your bag, you suddenly discover that some godsend has thoughtfully snuck a (Lo and Behold!) roll of bathroom tissue inside the bag's front pocket. Divine Providence.

So much joy, so much fulfillment, so much ecstasy at the fact that you won't have to just stand up, no wiping whatsoever, and be forced to pretend that there's nothing stuck down there. The sheer agony and feeling of pervasive dread at the idea that you will rival Saddam Hussein and Adolf Hitler in their ingenuity with biochemical weaponry.

But no! You have that bundle of joy, that glorious bundle of tissue paper, so that instead of being a war criminal, you can now be an advocate of the Clean Air Act and rival Greenpeace in the same breath.

As you unravel that glorious paper derivative, exquisitely utilizing it in a very gentle but comprehensive back-and-forth motion, feeling the gradual but continuous antisepsis of your bonbons, you feel the euphoria, the natural high, of success.

Then what? You simply throw the grail away.

I was tissue paper. Something that a lot of people needed, and then thrown away after serving its purpose.

I am tissue paper. Someone who does not care about how much dirt you have inside as long as you have the humility to admit that there is something there to clean.

I want to be tissue paper. May be taken for granted, but the same guy that you cannot live without.


/com
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Schooling and Education are two very, very, very different things.[/i]
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Haelstrom
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Re: ResCorp Press: Tissue Paper

Post by Haelstrom »

I'd far prefer being the toilet anal-washer. Click a button and let the water jet rinse your buttocks in style.

I'm too lazy to find metaphors for it, however.
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